pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
