my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
