Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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