I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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