just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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