When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize