im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
