I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
