Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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