I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
