Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
