So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
