Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
