i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
