You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
