I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
