Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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