No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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