Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
