her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
