I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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