If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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