Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
someone owes me an orgasm
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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