I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
