I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
