Dual....:-)
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
