I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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