Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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