They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
