She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
