we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
