she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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