Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
