Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
