Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
