I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
