people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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