pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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