xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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