so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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