And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
