real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
