Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
