I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
