In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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