it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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