Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
