You really coming over, don't trick.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
