i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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