he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
