I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His hands were made for my vagina.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
