Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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