return my video game
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
