i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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