So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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