yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
