Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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