Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize